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From Hidden to Heard: The Importance of Making Yourself Visible

Updated: 5 days ago

“You’ve already solved a problem that someone else is now struggling with, and that's the value of making yourself visible and sharing your expertise in your networks.”

This is something I found myself saying to a client recently. It's a version of what I say to almost all my clients when they express concerns about wanting to be more visible but fear that what they have to offer might not have any value to anyone.


In the last three coaching sessions I've had with clients, without fail, each one has said they want to make themselves more visible, but they aren't convinced that others would find value in what they're saying.

And I can resonate with their fears

I often find myself laughing wryly when I hear these comments, but I want to clarify that my laughter isn’t directed at my clients. Instead, I’m reflecting on my own experiences over the past few months, as I’ve been expressing similar thoughts myself. Just admitting to that feels quite scary. It was only after a coaching colleague contacted me to tell me sternly but lovingly that it's time for me to stop hiding that I realised that over the past 18 months I've made myself less and less visible. And it's why I can relate to what my clients are saying about being scared to be visible - I feel to some extent that I've lost that muscle. What once felt comfortable, currently feels distinctly uncomfortable.


Our inner critics have the discomfort of the unknown

The thing about making yourself visible is that people can scrutinize what you say, disagree, mock you, or ignore you. Without any doubt, that is uncomfortable. It takes a lot of courage to show up publicly with all your thoughts and opinions without sometimes questioning the value of what you have to offer. So I understand exactly how easy it is for my clients to let their internal narrative, their inner critic, talk them out of taking risks and staying in their comfort zone.


There's been an internal narrative in my head recently that goes along the lines of "There are so many people out there who are younger, funnier, more articulate, more relatable than I am, and they are sharing experiences and knowledge in a way that makes them so much more relevant than me - and therefore I must be irrelevant".


And then I realise that's just my inner critic priming herself to attack. Our inner critics hate the unknown. Our inner critics will do everything to keep us safe, in a place that is known, where there are no risks, where nothing can go wrong. They will do everything to hinder attempts at getting out of our comfort zones into that space of learning and growth where things can get distinctly uncomfortable by virtue of being unknown.


But the truth is that there is no growth in your comfort zone, there is no connection, and there is no space to make the impact or achieve the goals that you are striving towards.


Most importantly, your comfort zone almost guarantees invisibility.


Themes from coaching conversations


I don't know what to say

“I want to make myself visible, but I don’t know what to say.”


When I hear this, I can immediately hear my own inner critic saying, “Don't say something stupid, actually it will be better to say nothing at all”. It can feel like everything has already been said and that you have nothing new or valuable to add. But there are people out there who haven't heard you say it in your way, in relation to your context and experience.


We learn best when we teach others and share insights from our own experiences. So, from my perspective, sharing your thoughts in your networks can be valuable as an opportunity to integrate your own learning for yourself.


I encourage you to reflect on what you're learning, struggling with, and overcoming at the moment and share those reflections. I can almost guarantee you'll find that others relate to what you're saying, are inspired by it and find value in you.


My work should speak for itself

"Shouldn't my work speak for itself? Isn't it enough for people to see my competence without me having to boast about my achievements?”


Oh, how I wish that was true. In an ideal world, our work would speak for itself, and in many cases, it does. But in the competitive and noisy world we live in, simply relying on others to notice your competence is unrealistic.


Sharing your expertise and accomplishments gives your network insight into the significance of what you have achieved and enables them to open doors for you when opportunities arise that may require your expertise. If your network isn’t aware of your expertise, they cannot advocate for you.


I don't do anything special

“There’s nothing special about what I do. Everyone can do what I do, so what value am I adding by talking about it? Won't I just be adding to the noise?”


When you do what you do every single day, it becomes normal and can feel like it’s nothing special. But that’s not true. Even if others can do what you do, your unique approach, experiences, and insights bring value that is worth sharing.


I'm not the definitive expert

“There are lots of people out there that have better and more expertise than me.”


That’s true, there are many people with more experience than you (and me). And I can certainly resonate with that concern. There are coaches with way more experience than me, better qualifications, higher calibre clients, they’ve worked in contexts I have yet to work in, but I also have experience that some of them don’t have.


Our experience is different.


The combination of your knowledge, experience and reflections on these can make you an expert in your specific context at a specific point in time. Even if others have more expertise, your experiences, approach, and way of communicating can resonate with people in ways that others might not.


And different matters, because it generates a rich diversity of voices and ideas, which is essential for growth and innovation.


You are your own Director of Marketing

Your primary responsibility, if you are going to take ownership of your career, is to be your own marketing manager, customer relationship manager, and sales manager rolled into one!


At some point, the quality of your technical work is no longer your differentiator. What will distinguish you is the way you advocate for yourself, how you build and nurture relationships, formally and informally in your network, how you communicate about your expertise, and how people feel when they work with you.


In today's competitive landscape, staying visible is crucial for your career. If you don't advocate for yourself, nurture your network, and make your expertise known, you risk falling off the radar. Someone else, who might be less skilled but more visible, will be top of mind for opportunities that should rightfully be yours.


Being consistent in making yourself visible and heard ensures you are remembered and considered when opportunities arise. Showcasing your capabilities and reminding people of your existence and contributions is crucial to staying relevant and valuable, and avoiding the career pitfall of being overlooked simply because you weren't at the forefront of people's minds when they needed someone with your expertise.


We used to say it’s not what you know but who you know that matters. But in this connected world that we live in, where we are overwhelmed with information, what actually matters these days is: who knows you, and what are you doing to ensure they remember you when it matters?


I'm curious…

Who knows you exist?

In other words, how are you making yourself visible and known to the people who can positively impact and influence your career?


PS... On a very personal note

I'm saying this as much to myself right now as I'm saying it to you - as much as it may feel scary and messy and uncomfortable, there's value in getting out of your comfort zone and making yourself visible. Being visible doesn't mean being perfect. It doesn't mean having it all together. It doesn't mean having to be clever with your words.


My experience has been that the times I've shown up vulnerably have been the times I've been relatable. When I've shared challenges and struggles, and what I'm learning - these are the times where I know there's been value in being visible.


It's in these times that people in my network have reached out to me and said things like "your words helped me realise that I'm not alone in what I'm struggling with/learning/working on right now - it's almost as if you are writing from inside my head and you've helped me see that the problems that I'm struggling with are solvable". It's responses like that, that encourage me to come back into the light and share parts of my journey and things that I'm co-learning with my clients.



Want to explore how coaching can help you in navigating and taking ownership of your career?


If you’re seeking clarity and ready to take a leap in your career or life, feeling stuck, or navigating a challenging transition, coaching can provide the support you need. Coaching helps you embrace the discomfort of change and work with it to learn and grow and ultimately achieve your goals. Request a complimentary discovery call now.

 



Welcome to The Briony Liber Coaching Group!


Our mission is to help you connect with the curious, courageous, compassionate leader that you are meant to be.


Conscious, curious, creative, compassionate, courageous, connected. These are attributes of great self-leaders. These are the qualities we work with you to develop when you come to The Briony Liber Coaching Group for coaching on any aspect of your self-leadership and career.





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Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

A beautiful article which sounds like it came straight from the heart. A question that has just come through is how visible our true selves are to ourselves too.

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